The below two paragraphs are samples of descriptive writing.  Both were written in class after the class walked around a lake on campus.  The assignment was to create a dominant impression through description.  Read each and then rate them in each of the six traits of writing.  Use your rubrics and have a specific reason from that rubric to justify your score.

    Sometimes a simple walk to enjoy nature can reveal the complexity of nature and life as well.  As I walked along, I noticed the evening clouds above my head streaked with shades of red and orange. They seemed to be a work of art that only God could create.  Stopping to meditate on a bridge that crossed the far end of the lake, I listened to the sounds of the ducks wading and splashing in and around the water.  The sound of the locust were like a symphony in my ears; I was at peace with God above and his nature below.
    A leaf that lay before me caught my attention.  Its leaves had already become cracked and brittle. Looking up  I saw a rotting tree whose broken  branches reached toward the ground as if to grasp and hold on to the earth to preserve its life.  The chipped and scarred rocks and the eroded banks of the lake all worked to remind me that nothing lasts, that death and decay is a part of nature.  I looked at my own hands not yet lined by age and wondered how long until I too will be decaying?  Insignificant things that I walk by not usually paying any attention to have made me realize the beauty and the significance of God's plan.  Will anyone notice me as I begin to decay? Will no one pay any attention to me?  I am beginning to think I already know the answer.

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    My class was told to walk outside and take notes on the lake.  We walked around the lake just as the sun struck its shimmering surface in the dying light.  A single goose swam across the surface and left a v-shaped wake behind it.  On the hill above the lake, the lights in an apartment house winked on as darkness crept across the windows.   My classmates chattered aimlessly as the teacher stood and watched them.  My legs itched reminding me of the mosquitoes just coming out this spring.  It was a nice break from the lecture of class, and I hated to go back.

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