Drew Curtis' FARK.com

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Fri May 03, 2024
(Radio New Zealand)	The New Zealand dating scene is getting pretty woolly source: rnz.co.nz \| share: Copy Link	4
	At last, the IRS is going after the wealthy source: cbsnews.com \| share: Copy Link	10
	Woman escapes charges for misunderstanding how frozen embryos work source: people.com \| share: Copy Link	20
	🎵 Up, up and away, in my beautiful balloon 🎶 source: globalnews.ca \| share: Copy Link	8
	In other news, GPS was too drunk to drive source: yahoo.com \| share: Copy Link	6
	Gilbert Goons are a hybrid gang, as opposed to Dilbert Goons who wear crooked neckties and have pointy-haired bosses source: yahoo.com \| share: Copy Link	15
(Some Guy)	This may not have occurred to you, but when turning yourself in to police that have a warrant for your arrest, they will search your car, so you might want to remove the drugs and paraphernalia source: 1630kcjj.com \| share: Copy Link	15

Thu May 02, 2024
	The 10 years works out to 3.6 months per victim. That will teach boat captains to do the duties they are entrusted to carry out, instead of being first off the boat after failing to conduct sufficient fire drills, train the crew, or a set night watch source: cnn.com \| share: Copy Link	20
	Utah cities among the worst for naked gardening. Utah cities among the worst for naked anything source: fox13now.com \| share: Copy Link	20
	Worst. Crossing Guard. Evar source: wfla.com \| share: Copy Link	9
	Police in Houston respond to report of a man stabbing himself in the middle of the street, demonstrate they have far quicker methods source: abc13.com \| share: Copy Link	38
(Some Guy)	Things to enjoy on a nature hike, the wind in the trees, the mountain vistas, the locked box with a gun inside, the peace and calm, wait go back one source: denvergazette.com \| share: Copy Link	22
	"I'll be taking these Huggies and whatever cash you got" source: live5news.com \| share: Copy Link	35
	Today's mass shooting occurred in Texas. Six people shot at Fort Worth apartment complex source: 6abc.com \| share: Copy Link	64
	Not News: Rancher sues government. News: Because government-produced fertilizer poisoned their land with toxic "forever chemicals." Well, Fark: The fertilizer and chemicals are simply concentrated human excrement source: 9news.com \| share: Copy Link	43
	Photoshop this model workout source: pbs.twimg.com \| share: Copy Link	14
	We don't mind your protest camp for Palestine, as long as you don't mind 100+ of us running laps around your encampment tonight. Naked, as is the school tradition source: thecrimson.com \| share: Copy Link	32
	Not so great balls of fire: I-95 in parts of Connecticut close to NYC border could be closed for days after tanker truck crash source: wtnh.com \| share: Copy Link	25
	'Social media should be a human right,' says prisoner strangely not in the Arkham Asylum for the Criminally Insane source: abcnews.go.com \| share: Copy Link	32
	By request from the United Nations: 'The potato: A journey through time, cultures, and challenges' source: potatonewstoday.com \| share: Copy Link	39
	Another insurrectionist gets his just desserts: Jack Wade Whitton, who bragged that he 'fed' an officer to the mob of Capitol rioters gets nearly 5 years in prison source: apnews.com \| share: Copy Link	62
	The official response of the Meigs County TN EMS Director, facing scrutiny for slow ambulance response times is, "Ma'am we're all gonna die" source: newschannel9.com \| share: Copy Link	40
	India's RAW intelligence agency linked to killings of dissidents around the world, possibly through piledrivers or the figure-four leglock on WWE Monday Night source: aljazeera.com \| share: Copy Link	30
	The wise old man of the jungle is getting wiser, having been observed creating and applying a medicinal paste which healed a facial wound in a few weeks. If they figure out how to saddle a horse, I'm leaving source: bbc.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	53
(Some Guy)	27 lost Brothers Grimm volumes rediscovered, easily guaranteeing one thousand more years of Disney animated movies source: english.nv.ua \| share: Copy Link	82
	Photoshop this chapeau shopper source: live.staticflickr.com \| share: Copy Link	12
	China attempts to be the first country to return samples from the dark side of the moon, apparently unaware of how long that album's been out source: abcnews.go.com \| share: Copy Link	51
	4PM Eastern - It's the Fark News Livestream with Drew, Dill & possibly a special guest. H5N1 Global Warming Cotton Eye Joe edition source: twitch.tv \| share: Copy Link	5
	♪ The NUUUUDE Boat / Soon will be making another run ♪ source: aol.com \| share: Copy Link	66
	Cue fundie outrage in Oklahoma as the woke mind virus starts infecting their tornadoes source: yahoo.com \| share: Copy Link	38
	Protesters try to stop forces deportation of immigrants by--wait, they even spell tire differently in the UK? TYRE? REALLY? source: metro.co.uk \| share: Copy Link	64
	Pettit told police he was upset with the road rage that was taking place on the roadway as Pettit was being arrested for road rage source: kcrg.com \| share: Copy Link	31
	Man with a gluten-free diet may not be competent to stand trial source: thesmokinggun.com \| share: Copy Link	43
	Today's 2-hour serving of '80s alt/post-punk/new wave music includes tunes from Aztec Camera, China Crisis, OMD, and Hunters & Collectors. Hear what commercial radio doesn't sound like on pastFORWARD #601. Starts @ 1:00PM ET, LGT streaming options source: kuci.org \| share: Copy Link	123
	Inmate swallows mobile phone before search rather than hide it under bed or in toilet. Guards now have his cell number source: indianexpress.com \| share: Copy Link	48
	Wait, hang on a second, you're telling me that putting a blanket over a baby that is far too heavy for them to push off them is a BAD idea? source: npr.org \| share: Copy Link	57
	Pentagon admits that, whoa, maybe choosing to save a little money over years by downsizing its available number of trained combat surgeons wasn't really a well-thought plan source: npr.org \| share: Copy Link	52
	I don't know about you, but if my nickname was 'Pee Wee', I wouldn't go exposing myself to shoppers at Target, Walmart, and Burlington stores. Just sayin' source: fox35orlando.com \| share: Copy Link	28
(Some Guy)	Principal that showed up with McNuggets and Grimace shake to have sex with student pleads guilty source: binghamtonhomepage.com \| share: Copy Link	55
	So go ruck yourself source: cbsnews.com \| share: Copy Link	122
	Today in H5N1 updates: Is "hold onto your butts" a question or an answer? Because this is beginning to feel like one of those situations source: phys.org \| share: Copy Link	91
	University offers scholarships to students expelled of Gaza war protests (possible nsfw content on page) source: the-express.com \| share: Copy Link	67
(Some Guy)	Photoshop this Art Deco gazelle source: cdn4.picryl.com \| share: Copy Link	18
	Please clap. Or else source: nbcnews.com \| share: Copy Link	56
	Ex-congressional candidate accused of killing man in Las Vegas hotel room dressed as 'Ken,' court records allege witness coverup, then it gets weird source: 8newsnow.com \| share: Copy Link	60
	Fark NotNewsletter: May Subscription Drive - if we can get 1,000 new TotalFark subscribers in the next 30 days Drew will fight Mike Tyson* source: fark.com \| share: Copy Link	69
	Day 799 of WW3. Mordor claims new great victory over Ukrainian post office in Odesa. Meanwhile, Shoigu claims Russia will increase military production capacity by application of pixie dust and unicorn farts. This is your Thursday Ukraine War thread source: kyivindependent.com \| share: Copy Link	444
	Florida realtor discovers rare basement below hidden iron door where Florida man can go do Florida things source: wfla.com \| share: Copy Link	80
	Update on the floating pier, floating dock, and floating causeway to get supplies to Gaza. It should be operating in a week source: bbc.com \| share: Copy Link	51
	Now that Arizona has officially thrown out the 1864 law permitting no abortions, what comes next? A bunch of bureaucratic procedures that'll keep abortions banned for months source: abc15.com \| share: Copy Link	78

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