Mitch Hedberg, who brought an extremely laid-back delivery style to his absurd, quasi-philosophical observations and one-liners, would have been 48-years-old this Wednesday. Among his most famous and frequently quoted routines, as captured on his popular 1999 album Strategic Grill Locations, deals with the purchasing of doughnuts and the documentation thereof. To wit:
I bought a doughnut and they gave me a receipt for the doughnut. I don’t need a receipt for the doughnut. I’ll just give you the money, and you give me the doughnut. End of transaction. We don’t need to bring ink and paper into this. I just can’t imagine a scenario where I would have to prove that I bought a doughnut. Some skeptical friend: “Don’t even act like I didn’t get that doughnut! I got the documentation right here. Oh, wait it’s at home. In the file. Under “D.”
And now, a fan has paid tribute to the much-missed Hedberg in the most thematically appropriate manner possible by placing a single, frosted doughnut, accompanied by the prerequisite receipt, on the comedian’s grave at the Roselawn Cemetery in Roseville, Minnesota.
When I was a kid, I *really* wanted a pet monkey. I didn't care that they were mean and had to have their diapers changed...I would have done anything to be the kid cruising around town with his pet monkey.
My parents got me a lizard instead.
In a futile attempt to go back to those days...this is an archive of things that I can get that excited about.
